Cover Letters, Comedic Frustrations

Heyo,

I just spent two hours writing an utterly perfect letter that shows my excitement, personality and qualifications for a job.

It started as most cover letters start, from the draft of the last one. Then morphed into a brilliant chaos of ideas and plans. In that page were things I had accomplished and Mount Everest I still want to climb. Then I get lost, there is no flow. Something I can't pinpoint is off. I trying adding more words, while subtly seeing if my little (genius) sister next to me will help proof-read. No go. I glance around acting frustrated making comments about the difficulty employers have placed upon me. Nothing.

Apparently I am abandoned to work whatever havoc I can on my future. No one here cares.

Then along came my oldest sister (the OCD, cabinet member, I formerly discussed). She came to say 'goodnight' and then caught a glimpse of chaos. She couldn't resist and started cutting. She took my best thoughts and deleted them. Told me they wouldn't want to hear about my babysitting experience. Seriously you spend hours with kids (all ages) at odd hours on your own and can't even put that in a cover letter? I deserve medal and I don't even get to mention it to my future employers?

We settled on, "Additionally, I have provided childcare and domestic support for many families."

So that was nice.

Next my Mom sat next to me. She was tired, but she was being kind and supportive -thank you Mom. We tackled topicality and word choice. Apparently I overuse 'experience', 'variety' and 'learning'. The issue really came up when we got to the word 'Social-cultural'

"What are you trying to say here? Use conversational words to help me understand." She asks me. Great, Mom can almost read my mind, but even she is confused.

"I mean all kinds of people. Anyone, everyone, no matter who you are you will end up in a hospital." (I was being all kinds of positive)

"Hmmm, is that the right word?"

"Sure, it is a term from class. Psychology, I think."

Next thing I know I am Googling it. Turns out the word I am looking for is 'sociocultural'. Oops. That burns out another proof-reader. She goes to bed.

My whole family except dad has read it. I glace toward him. My Dad he just kept reading. I finally get up the courage and asked, "Would you read it?"

"I will be fresher in the morning."

"I want to submit it tonight, because there are these other, harder, questions they ask after this...so tonight."
"You'll be fresher in the morning too, Liss," Mom has returned.

"But Amanda already got a call back about this position, what if they close it?" I persist. I have not worked late to be thwarted, no I wanted to FINISH it. I didn't know if I could stand seeing one more time in the morning.

"On a Thursday night? Oh yeah, they are flooded with applications right now." Dad the skeptic said.

"Fine, okay. Read it tomorrow."

*Melissa gets up blogger* *FACEPALM* *She has no words. No inspiration* *All she has is work experience and twisted school terms*

"Dad I have nothing to say. Nothing is funny."

"What do you mean? You just spent the last two hours re-working a cover letter. You are going to wake up and work on it more. Then you are going to submit it and the hiring manager will go straight to your resume. Won't even skim your letter. There is nothing sarcastic about that."

Hysterical. I have a masterpiece that no one is going to read??? The world is cruel and unusual. Who came up with this torture?

I am going to bed.

<3Lissa